Saturday, 17 November 2012

Girl Problems 101: Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

A note from Joelle...


This is a totally different post for me as I never post about stuff like this. However, I thought that it was about time that I delve into this world and share bits with you.
                                                                       ♫ ♪ Easy Please Me - Katy B 
When I am with my close friends, we usually natter about our current relationships and seem to end up ranting - all the time! Yes, I am a bit of a drama queen, but I never make stuff up scenarios to entertain - they actually happen, which is a huge step up from my less exciting shy days during school. It's just little observations and real-life things that happen that you would usually see in a film.

I am quite a complex character when it comes to letting my guard down. I think my quasi-feminist approach to life is to blame for this if I'm honest. Although I do believe that men and women should be 100% equal in all sections of society, I also believe that old-fashioned chivalry is still nice too. For example pulling chair out for her, holding the door open, letting her on the bus first, that kind of thing. It's actually more about kindness than gender.
I just started university two months ago and realised that once you get into an environment like this, normal behaviour goes completely out of the window. Some have absolutely no social etiquette when it comes to being around women! It is actually shocking and totally cringe-worthy. And then they wonder why they cannot 'pull a bird'. I hate that term so much.
I may only be the a the ever-so-innocent age of 18, but I have already come across many different types of boys/young men from all over the place. None of which I feel do themselves any favours, unfortunately. Please read on to see the breakdown of these certain characters. Oh, and like all my blog posts, they have to be taken with a few pinches of the finest rock salt money can buy:

The Wasteman - This term stems from inner-London and is not the kindest of words to use when describing men. If you are from across the pond in the USA, I think you call them 'Sleazeballs'(?)However, these young men often have little respect for women and are often the sleazy ones that lurk at the back of nightclubs. They are also the kind of guy that tries to grind upon you (or your mate) on the dance-floor and can seem rather aggressive if they do not get their own way.
Ladies: we need to avoid, avoid, AVOID! Seriously, do not waste your time with him even if he is the only guy you are getting attention from!!!!

The Clueless Posh Boy - Now, being from a notoriously 'posh' area of the South East of England, these guys are easy to find. Now, I am not slating their upbringing  because you cannot choose the family you were born into. But part of me wonders how many of these fellows survive in the outside world - the real world.
You would usually (and ignorantly) expect gentle that are supposedly cut from a finer cloth to be a bit more respectable toward females... I was oh so wrong there!
The sort of bubble that many of these boys live in really shows as soon as they are forced to enter an urban city, where there is a huge melting-pot of people, like university. Some are clueless in the way that they are not as aware of how they act around others and their new surroundings in the city.
I have found that when I am deep in conversation, they talk non-stop about their wealth and status, I am put off immediately as it bores me to death. I find that in large cities, these men really need to know their surroundings and realise that not everyone has a similar lifestyle. They do have a reasonably good sense of fashion though...

The 'Lad' - Their egos are just out of this world and they always seem to be the kind of guys and point at random people in nightclub photos. Okay, so our generation has a new term for a slightly cheeky, lothario-type man - The Lad. This is a gentleman that is supposed to convey a larger-than-life character, meaning not only being incredibly sociable but also good looking and flirtatious. 
The problem I have here is that many teenage boys use this 'lad' term to justify extremely sexist behaviour towards females (just look up 'The Lad Bible on Facebook to see what I mean). Of course loads of men portray this 'lad character' as a parody of themselves, but it gets a bit tricky when women cannot see past the façade! 
Ladies, no matter how 'Jack-the-lad' and banterous (did I just make this word up?) these guys seem, most of them care more about their reputation with their other 'lad' mates than being in an actual healthy, monogamous relationship.

The Liar - Think Jay from 'The Inbetweeners' and you've got this character down to a tee. Although I have only been at university since September, I have eavesdropped on so many of these conversations. Not forgetting to mention the hilarious stuff I heard back at college and at the countless bus-stops around the south-east and London! Basically, these guys make up completely unrealistic scenarios that they have allegedly be a part of, usually to do with wild parties, girls and getting with girls. It is just to please there friends and make that look like a boss - fail.

The Know-it-All - There comes a time in every girl's life where she meets and man who just loves to back-chat, put her down and  scrutinise/question her views. Why? For the attention of course... well, that is what I first thought. It's actually about the whole 'alpha male' thing and I am not a fan of that. In my opinion, the  lame phrase 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' expired in about 1997, and it's a rude and ridiculous way to treat a woman that you are interested in.

The Nice Guy - ... Men need to get the 'nice guys finish last' thing out of their minds! That is completely false! Why would a young lady want to spend her time with an idiot that treats her like dirt? We actually are more likely to find nicer and more polite men attractive... obviously! Men that actually look into your eyes instead of at our chest during conversation!  Men that  are good at conversations and don't ask for a kiss/our mobile numbers straight away. Men that offer to pay for our drink and are okay when we politely decline.  It does not matter if these men are slightly quieter than the more rowdy type, because at the end of the day, the nice and respectable guy will get the right girl! These are the guys that really get the girls - seriously!

... You still with me? Great! I did not intend to write a mini-thesis on this girl problem!
So what was the point of this blog post? I guess it was a way for me to vent my displeasure at the current generation of young men. Perhaps I was wrong to stereotype many males into these categories, but I am sure I am not the only person  that has come across these types and is annoyed!
So why is this a girl problem again? Well, us ladies are the ones that have to put up with this kind of ludicrous drivel every day.
I am not a bitter person at all (promise) but I do tend to vent my views out into the web world for all to see, and I don't really care if people think this is a dumb post.
I wish people would realise that you have to be yourself and try your best to not give into peer pressure when you are young. You only have the right to be yourself because everyone else is already taken. This means, if you like reading, then READ! If your mates like rugby but you like singing, then SING! Don't hide behind the fake characters addressed above! Girls will like you for you (no matter how cliché that sounds!)
All I want to know is... Where have all the good men gone? The respectful, charming and fun types that most women would fight over to get to know better. If you know of any, let me know.
*Ladies, do not settle for anything less than the kind, charming man that you deserve! THE END.
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