A Message To My 13 Year-Old Self

A note from Joelle...
                                           ♫ ♪  Star - Kelis feat. Cee-Lo Green

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Firstly, I have no regrets. Everything I have done in my life has led me to where I am now, so it's all good!

These are a few tips I would give to my 13 year-old self:

*BACK GROUND NOTICE: I went to an all girl's school. It was really enjoyable, with the occasional  bit of bitchy behaviour on the side. It was an overpowering ocean of oestrogen after all! It was no St Trinian's, but it was no convent either...

• Stand up to that bully! That's right folks, I was picked on everyday by the same girl, L and her minions in secondary school. She would pick on me for the tiniest of details and made me feel even worse about myself and how I looked. It took me an entire year to finally stand up to her in the middle of a PE hockey game, and I will never forget that moment - It was about ten seconds away from turning really ugly, so I am glad I did it with grace and maturity. It turns out, that girl (who will not be named, but she knows who she is) had more issues than Vogue and lost most her her friends in the following years at school. I could have taken this as my cue to tease and pick on her, but I am glad that I knew better.
• Take up another sport! When I was 13, I badly injured my right ankle during a netball match. I was put in a wheelchair and could not walk on it for two weeks. Then, I had four months of painful physio and a swollen foot. This made me quit sports (apart from badminton and yoga) especially ones where you have to be in a team. I focused more on music, which was great, but being in an active team would have been awesome.
• Green eyeliner and blue mascara are NOT a good look! I honestly don't know what came over me when I was a teen. I bought this light green eyeliner and wore it around like I was the bomb. I also topped off the look with electric blue mascara - Just imagine the horror...
• Ask for help more! My life would have been so much easier if I had accepted that it was impossible for me to be amazing at everything. My academic life would have been made a lot easier if I had asked for help more and accepted my faults.
• Accept compliments with grace and a smile. Whenever someone complimented me, I never knew how to respond because my self-esteem had hit rock bottom.
• There is nothing wrong with being the 'nice' girl! I was always called this and it really got to me in a weird way. I felt that people didn't see anything else but 'nice' and it made me one-dimensional. My friendship group were the nice group that were open in accepting new people and stuff. But after a while, we grew tired of being the 'back up' friendship group for girls that had fallen out with their normal friends.
• Stop being so cold! I got to a stage where I didn't want to be nice any more: perhaps it was the hormones? I only realised this when someone asked me 'why are you so vex all the time?' I wanted to punch him in the face for saying that, but I was at his house, so that wouldn't have ended well. The thing is, I tried so hard not to be socially awkward during really awkward situations, which never ended well because I just would not speak. I also suffered from 'Chronic Bitch-face', which meant that my face was just naturally in a frowning position (through no fault of my own, of course...)

• Good on you for not fitting in! I was really blessed to have discovered at a young age that there is no such thing as 'normal'. Knowing this allowed me to do my own thing and not care about people looking down on me! I am really happy that I told people about my hobbies without a care in the world about their sneers and mockery. I was a flute player (and still am), a precious stone collector (still am!) and I had written two novels by the age of 14. I would get the occasional eye-roll and 'what-makes-you-think-you're-so-special?' look, but it never bothered me. At the end of the day, I can look back and see that I had goals and hobbies and didn't just sit on the sofa all day.
• Don't try to fight other people's battles! I really did mean well as a young teen, but sometimes I got involved in these huge dramas just to help a friend, when they really should have done it themselves. I didn't know the difference between being a good friend and getting in the way of other people's situations. But at least I wanted to help people!
• Comparing your self to others is pointless! Urrrgh! A day didn't go by where I wasn't comparing my size, shape, talents, personality, popularity, etc to the other girls at my school. It honestly took over my life as I thought every one else just had a better life (especially social lives). I remember taking a photo with two of my friends on a mufti day. We were wearing princess tiaras and we looked amazing. That was when I realised that I already had the best friends in the entire world and I didn't need to compare myself to others. After that I stopped taking my friends and life for granted.

That's it! It wasn't meant to be that deep, but I really enjoyed writing this. I challenge YOU to write a post to your 13 year old self. I would love to read them! If you are not a blogger, I would still recommend you try this - boy, it's good to take a trip down memory lane! :) If you do try this, please leave the link below.