Saturday, 11 May 2013

Profile Picture Confessions

A note from Joelle... (tongue very firmly in cheek for this one, guys!)
I found this picture on twitter and it made me cry with laughter. This is honestly what the Mona Lisa would look like if it was painted today...

Can someone please tell me why girls (and some guys, but mainly girls) feel the need to take certain kinds of pictures and then upload them to Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/Instagram? I know that it's quite important to look good in profile photos, you want to come across as free, fun and friendly. But in all honesty, some people take it a wee bit too far with theirs. I am pretty sure you know the ones I am writing about...

A: The Duck Pout - Some girls don't realise they are doing it and I may have exaggerated it a bit in the picture below, but you do know what I'm getting at, right? How is this look attractive? If you think men like this look, they really don't. 

B: The I-will-Take-A-Picture-With-Alcohol-So-Everyone-Will-Know-That-I'm-Completely-Wild shot - This is actually one of the most popular ones for my age group on sites like Facebook and Twitter. Some people go completely out of their way to make sure they get a picture of themselves with a vodka bottle or wine glass in their hand. Remember boys and girls, alcohol is the only way to show that you are fun and popular (not really, kids!). I have actually seen girls say 'Oh, wait let me get my drink first', after being asked for her picture to be taken with a friend...

C: The 33 Degree Head Tilt - Oh, yes, there's nothing like this head tilt that is talking over the selfie world. Come on blogger ladies, we all do it sometimes and then put it on Instagram. But even you have to admit that it looks a bit strange. It's perfectly okay to show off your curves with a simple hand-on-hip pose, but when did it get so advanced? Why does gravity suddenly overwhelm the head when one's photo is taken? People's heads are either really weighing them down or their lens is super small and they are just trying to get in the frame. I guess it will remain a mystery for now... 

D: The iPhone Mirror Shot - To me this one makes very little sense because most smartphones have a  front-facing camera, so you don't actually need to use a mirror to take a cheeky selfie! When people do it with iPads it's even more annoying! The only reason I can come up for people still doing this is to show-off their flashy phones in mirror. Speaking of flashy...

E: The Mirror FlashOkay, so my 2007 Bebo page was full of these kind of images, but that was when I didn't know any better (and didn't know how my camera worked...).Why are people still uploading pictures of themselves in the mirror and all you can see is a bright flash where the face should be? Crazy idea, but people would actually would like to see your face in your profile picture, you know. Just putting it out there.  

F: The Indie Pose - Chances are, you probably missed half of the festival you saved up for because you spent most of your time trying to get that 'perfect festival indie shot' instead of actually seeing the bands. Ingredients for this picture cocktail are: flower crown, massive aviator glasses, lots of festival wristbands (from festivals you went to years ago) in full camera view, two fingers available to make the 'peace sign' and weed smoke (or just smoke from a nearby BBQ blowing past...).

G: The 'Gangsta' Pose - That's right Ladies and Gents, I thought this lame pose died off with Myspace and Bebo way back in 2008, but it's back with a vengeance. Pointing to your lip or doing the 'thinking' pose was a massive teen craze back in the day, and I guess some eager souls have been campaigning long and hard to make it virtually acceptable again. What do these poses even mean though? I would love someone to shed some light on it, PLEASE!
H: The Over-Edit- I have made some horrendously overly edited pictures in my time, I must admit. But there are some people's profile pictures that are so edited that when you see them in school/uni in real life you think to yourself, 'you look nothing like your profile picture!'
Some girls even take to to the next level and have the audacity to litter the picture caption reassuring us Doubting Thomases  that the photo has not been edited. Girl please, you are fooling no one.
And then come the 'Awww you're so gorg babes'. GET A GRIP!

In this photo I: added  green lipstick, stretched my forehead, whitened teeth, put on blusher and changed the lighting. But I look like this all the time, honest!

On a serious note, it's the Internet so you can do what you want, but try to be yourself and reflect that through your profiles! :)


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