Friday, 5 July 2013

Top 10 Bebo Memories

A note from Joelle... 
Oh dear. I read somewhere that the Bebo social network in being revived from the social cyber-abyss, but does anyone really want it back? And can it compete with Facebook (probably, it's full of Annoying Friends) and Twitter? I had my Bebo from around 2006 to 2009 and I loved it as a thirteen year-old because everyone was on it. From the girls in my school to the boys in the rival school, who I was too nervous to talk to in person...
I deleted my profile a long time ago, but I have found some of my old school friends profiles (I will not name names for now) and they were so cringe-worthy that it brought back a tidal wave of lolz! Here are my top 10: 

1. Sharing the 'luv' - Remember the days when you wrote on someone's wall and you could send them little red hearts? You could only send about two a day, so that meant strategically working out who deserved it the most. There were genuine arguments over MSN (not me,  promise) about who you gave their luv to and how many you were allowed to give to them. Don't deny it, we have all been a bit pissed off when our best friend didn't give us luv when we gave them one!
2. Arranging your 'top friends'Arranging your friends in order of importance was crucial to making your Bebo page legit and had to be done very carefully. This was dangerous territory back in the day, because you could rank someone higher that they ranked you, making things baaare awks. 

Had a falling out with one of your best friends at lunch time? No problem, just move them down a few spaces on your Bebo profile and wait for their next move. Mwuahaha. 

3. The Other Half - This was the place to show off your best friend or your new boyfriend (of two days). The latter was much cooler and set you apart from the other loser singletons. 
It was more ridiculous (and annoying) than Facebook relationship declarations. Why? Well, because so many people wrote soppy paragraphs along the lines of 'luv dis boii soooo much, it hurtz. We will b 2geta 4eva and eva. Nufink can tear uz apart cuz da luv is 2 strong. Luv ya bbz..x' - This was taken basically word-for-word from a profile of an old school friend's Bebo I found. Gut-churning stuff right there, folks.

4. Skins - You could change your profile wallpaper from a selection made by from 'skins makers' (aka strangers that just knew how to use Photoshop). Chances are, you changed it often to suit your mood. After searching for HOURS to find your perfect skin, it wasn't long until someone you knew got the same one and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. 
All that precious time you could have been using to write cryptic lyrical statuses on other sites like MSN and Piczo, wasted.
Indirect skins were pretty hilarious as well. Some would read...
or the most ratchet of them all...
^^ Girl, you're thirteen, go home.

5. Quizzes - Ah yes, the ultimate test to see which your friends really knew you the best. Major beef went down if your best friend failed to score at least 95%...

6. 'The Wall' and Videos - I never understood this concept when I had Bebo. Your friends (or randomers) create virtual 'bricks' by colouring and doodling. No matter how hard you tried, they always looked awful but as soon as you clicked, it's was there, cemented in the Bebo archives foreverrrrrr.

On to the videos... if you didn't have a Cascada or Basshunter song on you 'fave videos' list, you might as well have deleted your account as you clearly were not listening to the right music!

7. 'Scene Kids' This was a social group (like chavs, goths, emos) that no one could really define back in the day. But if you loved neon and had choppy hair, you were accepted as one of them on Bebo. The interesting thing is, I never met any in real life. I thus came to a conclusion that these scene kids' just lived on Bebo. Thank God there wasn't Instagram back when these kids freely roamed the earth, their pictures would all be like this...
    8. Crap like this´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´ ♥«´¨`•(insert girl's name here)°•´¨`»♥ .¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)` (¯`v´¯) `*.¸.*´(INSERT NAME OF BOYFRIEND HERE).♥ ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.   WHAT EVEN WAS THIS? Girls decorated their name with all these doodles that were copied and pasted from someone elses profile (because let's face it, how do people get these shapes?).

    9. Annoying Arrows - Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh. I FCUKING HATED these! Flashing arrows were all over the place and you added them as friend just to place them in you top 16. It was mainly just to show off the friends you thought were 'stunnahz' and 'peng'.

    10. B3b0 Stunnahz - I honestly believe this is the birthplace of the 'duck-face pout' and a black hole for modern-day feminism. 13 year old girls from all over the land posed in the most nauseating positions and with fake tan (and all the makeup they owned) lathered across themselves. Their photos were then placed onto a public account and was a breeding ground for vain people. The girls were then gawked at by randy men, prepubescent boys and probably paedophiles - delightful.
    After slagging this off throughout my time on Bebo, one of my pictures actually made it onto one of these pages. I am embarrassed to say that I was so happy to have finally made the cut as a 'stunnah' - *VOM*. 

    Remember any of these or remember some more? Let me know in the comments below!
    All in all, I don't see anyone (sane) ever going back to Bebo. It was fun while it lasted (and when we were all too immature to know any better) so now it is time to lay it to rest and let it die... And I hope it stays dead for good this time.

                            For more of my comedy genius...
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