Monday, 15 July 2013

Virtual Displays Of Affection

A note from Joelle... 

♫ ♪ 'Love Kills' - Roberto Bellarosa ♫ ♪

                                                             (^^That creepy teenage boy from the Eurovision!)
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Social networks have been pissing me off more than usual. I am SICK AND TIRED of people on my facebook, twitter, instagram, etc confessing their undying love for their other half in really inappropriate ways. I call this VDA: 'Virtual Displays of Affection'. Is that a real thing? I think I just penned a new term! *Pats self on back* (Just found out It's a real term, damn.)
I honestly (*places hand on heart*) cannot remember a time where I have not shuddered at cringe-worthy and totally embarrassing VDA statuses/tweets. They only seem to be getting more OTT and annoying as the months go on, and it's making me laugh so much and uncomfortable at the same time. 
There was a time where people just told their partner they loved them face-to-face, when they saw them. What happened to that? No one had to know about it (or bitterly roll their eyes) and it was simple and private. Now, when scrolling down facebook and twitter, we see stuff like: 'Can't believe it's been two months since we got together. Luv u sooooooooooooo much, [insert cringey pet name here]. Hope you're ready for tonight ;)'. I guess it's now a trend to brag about the size of your boyfriend's errr, manhood as well now too! Jeeez, some people forget they have families on these social networking sites!

I have to admit that in the past, I might have posted a few corny, but mild facebook posts and stuff, but I think once or twice it's okay. I just don't like seeing couples that have been together for literally a week sending those facebook love heart and virtual cards (who seriously pays real money for virtual cards?) and showing off that they are in a new relationship. I can't be the only one that thinks this, right? 

I just think that too much VDA can damage a new relationship. Think about it this way...

Step 1: You change your facebook status from single to 'in a relationship' - YAY! You are now part of the elite crew, where you can get about 60 'likes' and congratulatory comments from your friends about your new status. This sudden surge of popularity will leave you beaming for a few days as you think people care about you and your new love.
Step 2: Now that everyone knows that you are in a new relationship, you are subject to immediate scrutiny from your online peers (especially the single ones). You therefore up your game and start posting photos 
Step 3: The more you start tagging each other in soppy tweets/statuses, the more people will consider un-friending you - simple as that. 
Step 4: As the likes and retweets die down, you start posting check -ins like 'Location: In the boyf's bed...' - The amount of times I have seen ratchet girls post this is insane. It's just too much information and no one really cares ! To make things worse, we think it's just the status but then its an awkward selfie of the couple cuddling in bed (doing some other  things..) and that really is the final straw for me.
Step 5: The girl usually goes a bit crazy with indirect tweets about 'jealous friends not being there' for her and how she 'can't trust people any more except the boyfff ♥xxx '. It makes it even more depressing going through messages,untagging pictures and possibly unfriendly once the relationship turns sour.
Step 6: Couple get paranoid about each other, analysing number of 'xxxs' on the end of messages and they seek advice from respective friends (if they still have any).
Step 7: General coldness and/or 'tough love' from said 'jealous' friends and things get awkward from then on, all because of too much info on Facebook. *Queue Taylor Swift song lyrics as statuses/tweets*, over-relation to Bridget Jones, blah, blah, blah.

The thing I find so funny is that some couples post so much stuff about their partners online, and THEN have the AUDACITY to complain that other people 'are getting involved in their relationship' and then get mad. Are they even for real?! If you spread your overly-edited photos and soppy crap all over the place, that's what will happen eventually.
This isn't a Disney film where baby deer and chipmunks rush to your feet with every romantic outburst you make - it's real life, and sharing too much information online just doesn't cut it.
Overall, there really is nothing wrong about sharing your love with others, happiness is contagious, so it's good to pass that on. Just don't become an annoying attention seeker and tell your partner that you love them in person. Please, for all our sanities.
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