Tuesday, 2 September 2014

How To Pose Like A Blogger

A note from Joelle... 

♫ ♪ 'Walcott' - Vampire Weekend ♫ ♪

Now that you have mastered "How To Be A Legit Blogger", you're going to need to walk-the-walk... or at least pretend to...

1. The Stork - Posing like the large, marine bird is très on trend right now as it's all about pretending to be taller than you actually are. Yeah, you might look silly for a few minutes, but it's you who'll be laughing all the way to Fashion Week when you're scouted by Models 1.
How To Pose Like A Blogger

2. The Lean - The easiest of these Blogger Poses to master. Just pretend you are a teapot (with a stout and no handle) and tilt your head exactly 33 degrees. A protractor is required, otherwise you're not doing it right.
How To Pose Like A Blogger
3. The Confused girl - Staring into the hazy distance adds that extra element of mystery and eeriness to your blog. Highly recommended when in a field or forest. 
How To Pose Like A Blogger
4. The Fake Giggle - Even if you've had the worst day ever and don't even want to take these outfit photos, faking a laugh really captivates your readers and makes them fall in love with you.
Your readers have to be aware that you have a likeable personality, so just act like you've been caught laughing off-guard and everyone will think you have the perfect life!
How To Pose Like A Blogger
5. The Hair Joosh - No #ootd would be complete without running your fingers through your hair/weave/coloured wig, while looking away from the camera.
WARNING: You can only start doing this once you reach 700 twitter followers. Don't even THINK about attempting this pose if you haven't got over that number of followers.
Don't shoot the messenger, I didn't make up these rules...
How To Pose Like A Blogger
How To Pose Like A Blogger
6. The Open-Mouth = mystery, duh!
How To Pose Like A Blogger
7. The Over-The-Shoulder Glance - Just pretend that your photographer has become your stalker and you've got the perfect look!
How To Pose Like A Blogger
8. The Fake Shyness - Bloggers have such hard lives and sometimes it just gets a bit too much. Please respect our decision to hide away from the camera... and then put the pictures on our blog... on the Internet...for the world to see.
How To Pose Like A Blogger
9. The Twirl - This is mandatory when wearing a floaty dress or skirt. Having long, flowing hair is not a must, but adds that extra 'pop'!
How To Pose Like A Blogger
extra points if you can make a gif of you twirling

10. That Staged Walk - The classic blogger pose, but the hardest to master. Putting one extended foot in front of the other is degree-level difficult. Approach this pose with caution - I'm counting on you.
How To Pose Like A Blogger
How To Pose Like A Blogger
And to top things off, all these photos are taken by my hipster boyfriend*, who's really into photography and has a cool beard. Having your bf** take your photos is a strict requirement, otherwise you must delete your blog immediately.

* lol jk, #ForeverAlone
** or gf, I don't discriminate
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